Your glass is full and empty of red wine. Or are you concerned about the empty bottle — do you make decisions based on substance or essence?

I was sitting having a drink with a friend and we were discussing one of my previous posts, My Tuesday Evening with Living Death (https://medium.com/what-i-learned-today/b52afdfc281) where I address this idea of having a full heart. We were also discussing a previous conversation we had about how in order to make room for change (personal, social, whatever), one must “make space” or “empty their cup.” For example, to start adding different things to a routine such as working out, one simply cannot just start going to the gym, some part of their old routine must die, such as watching a TV show.

My friend mentions something that irks me about how the metaphor I describe about how our hearts must be “full” in order to look at other hearts and form constructive relationships. I thought that this seemed exclusionary as we just had a discussion about how one must make space for change and it got me thinking.

Really, what I meant to say is that hearts must be empty — and full.And if something could be empty and full at the same time, does that mean they are the same thing?

So I look at a glass on the table that is about three-quarters full of red wine and being to stumble through an explanation of how emptiness and fullness is really the same thing. In essence, each of them implies a fullness of something. If something is completely empty, it is full of nothing. If something is full, it is full of something. Is full of nothing the same thing as full of something?

Yes, in essence. If you disagree you are choosing to focus on the substance rather than the essence.Is a glass full of red wine the same thing as an empty glass of red wine — no, not in form because there is substance in one that changes the physical composition of the glass. However, does that mean that an empty glass still lacks fullness? No, it lacks fullness of red wine; it still is very, very full. It’s full just of something we can’t quite see or feel as easily.

So if we begin to look at the self and how we treat and view others, any emphasis on the red wine can easily overlook the essence of the sameness.

A fun exercise:Ask yourself if you choose to focus on the red wine or truly experiencing the essence of the sameness, it’s your choice.Caveat: this doesn’t give license to behave like a total pacifist, acting out of essence takes many forms, confrontation is a necessary part of living because if we don’t have that, expect to be in a lot deeper shit in 20 years.